Here are two ways to look at it.

Have you ever felt insecure, tense, or stressed when giving a talk, speaking up in a meeting or when interacting in a group?

Or do you feel confident, but find that your posture doesn't necessarily project that confidence? -- and do you generate so much tension during the day that you feel drained and not so confident that you can do everything you need to.

I’m going to be looking at the idea of confidence from these two different perspectives - feeling confident about interacting with others directly and more indirectly (conveying confidence with your posture and not being dragged down by tension, strain, and fatigue).  You might relate to one type more than the other...or both could be relevant at different times.

If you think of the word "confidence," the first thing that comes to mind might be feeling self-assured.  The opposite then would be feeling insecure, or anxious.  An example could be talking in front of a group of people and freezing up, getting tense, feeling like you're running out of breath when you're speaking because of your direct reaction to speaking in front of a group.

Impostor Syndrome is a term that's used a lot to describe feelings of being “not good enough” for the job, for the talk you're giving, to be heard in the meeting you're in (despite being more than qualified).  This is another example of how someone might not feel confident and it is often trigger by speaking in front of people.  It’s the presence of all of the people and/or internal doubts that bring it on.  It’s like there's something in that moment that kind of makes the person choke up, freeze, or get overly focused on how people are reacting to them.

The second type of confidence is more indirect.  It has more to do with overall habits related to posture, breathing, and speaking that are on autopilot.  For example, every time the person speaks they feel like they are running out of air or that they get hoarse, or that their neck sticks out or their shoulders tighten.  

Though these kinds of habits CAN relate to feeling insecure or anxious, they don’t always.  Sometimes it's just tension created when speaking, not because of any negative thoughts or feeling nervous talking to the actually people in front of you.  Maybe these habits were developed during adolescence, maybe they are reinforced by poor posture from smartphone usage, or brought on by stress. Maybe you have no idea why, which is totally normal.  Habits often develop unconsciously over time.

Many of my clients tell me that they saw a photo of themselves and didn’t like how their posture looked.  They realized that in the moment when the picture was taken, they were't aware of it at all.  

They might feel confident about who they are and what they're saying, but their body language says otherwise — if they’re unconsciously bringing their posture from using their phone into the talk they're giving.  

Similarly, some people feel worried that they're going to loose their voice when they have to speak a lot or that they have a feeling of forcing their voice to "project" it and they don't feel relaxed -- and they keep feeling like they're running out of air, like the person who is nervous, only they aren't nervous...but they've developed habits that interfere with their voice.

Another issue I hear a lot is feeling exhausted or tense after a day of meetings, feeling like you’ve given all of your energy away, but you don’t know why.

Sometimes strain and fatigue can actually be created by someone feeling really enthusiastic and confident about what they're saying, but they unconsciously create tons of tension as they are talking.  They may even get tense when they're trying to listen to others.

This is where confidence can quickly turn into feeling uncertain -- if you don't feel confident that you can put your best foot forward because of stress and fatigue.

Discomfort or pain from the tension in your body can interfere with your ability to focus, be productive, or to find joy in your work and in your life.

My online course, Interact with Impact, which is now open for registration, can help you feel and look more confident, whether you’re dealing with direct feelings of insecurity when you're speaking or if stress and strain in your body are affecting your overall well-being and your ability to convey confidence.

This course helps you take charge of your habits of posture, breathing, and speaking by looking at the what triggers them when you actually talk, as well as how your daily habits doing all the stuff you do impact how you feel and come across.

I’ve developed this course based on years of hearing women’s frustrations and know that there is something we can do about it.  I base how I teach on 17-years as an Alexander Technique teacher, my training as a performer, and my expertise in functional anatomy.  

Yes, knowing something about your anatomy and how you move can actually help you feel less stressed and more confident!  

You CAN learn how to really improve your posture, take up your space, and project your voice.  These aren’t things that you are supposed to “just” know how to do.  They can be learned and it starts with becoming more mindful in a really specific way. 

Once you get started, you’ll want to keep practicing, because it’s fun, empowering, and the strategies you’ll learn fit seamlessly into your daily activities, making you feel more calm, composed, and energized.  You don’t have to stop and do another work-out routine.

Want to learn how to develop and use this superpower?  Check out my free training.