How “Other People” Affect Your Posture

Posture, rather than being some kind of ideal position, is a physical reflection of how we respond to the stimuli that we come across on a daily basis.

That stimuli can be stuff like chairs and screens.

It can be light and noises…

stressful thoughts running around in our heads…

work and to-do lists…

and other people…

When we’re looking at posture and how it affects how we are when we’re communicating with others, we can’t remove the “others” from the equation.

It’s not like your shoulders magically round when you have to speak up in a meeting. There are reasons these things happen.

Here are the two big ones and sometimes both are happening at the same time:

1) You’re bringing your computer posture, “tech neck”, or tense shoulders from having a stressful day into the interaction.

For example, you might walk into a meeting, having a 1:1 conversation, or be about to give a talk

…and you’ve gotten all crunched up from the other stuff you’ve been doing all day

How you are using your body in all of those other activites can affect your body language and how you feel when you’re communicating and it really counts!

2) The fact that we’re interacting with other people can also be the direct trigger for slouching, getting tense, and running out of air when you speak.

…or feeling like you’re all in your head and not really present.

Sometimes people aren’t aware at all of their physical habits when they are talking with others, but then they see a photo of themselves and they are shocked because they don’t actually feel what their body is doing.

They may see that that what they see in the photo isn’t conveying confidence, but they are not aware of what’s happening when it’s happening.

People usually feel like they’re on autopilot and that they have no control over they’re posture, breathing, or how they move when they are focused on the other people they’re speaking with or presenting to.

It can be easy to get discouraged and think there’s no way to change these habits that seem automatic…

but there actually is a way to take charge of your posture, your breathing, and how you respond to other people

When we’re faced with other people, it can be so habitual to just let all of our attention go onto them.

What are they thinking?

Do they understand what I’m saying?

What does that facial expression mean?

Do they like me?

Do they agree with me?

The trick is to learn to be present with other people and yourself at the same time.

That might seem like a lot to juggle, but it’s not if you put your body sense in your background awareness. We can only have one primary focus, but we’re able to have multiple background focuses.

ie. We can walk, talk, and manage to cross the street at the same time.

And it’s different from focusing inward on your body with your eyes closed. This can be very useful in a meditation context, but we’re doing something different when we are aware of our bodies in action.

It’s a lot like when you’re driving and change lanes, you’re not looking at the back of your car, but you have a sense of where it is.

If you’re learning a new skill that involves balance, you start to notice more where your body is so that you don’t fall over.

Being aware of your body while you’re doing other things (like talking to someone) is something that you can learn to do...

and you don’t have to be hyper-concentrated, changing lanes, or balancing on ice skates to do it!

Being aware of your body while you’re doing other things (like talking to someone) is something that you can wake up with practice and you don’t have to be hyper-concentrated, changing lanes, or balancing on ice skates!

Once you’re more acurately aware of your body - you can actually feel when you’re about to slouch or get tense…and you can prevent it…in a way that feels more relaxed and grounded…not stiff!

And you can apply the same practice to all of the other stuff you do all day.

You CAN have better posture that doesn’t feel forced or stiff. You CAN change your habits. And it feels a lot better than just trying to stand up straight!

What I’m describing is a skill that I teach. It can be learned and it doesn’t require already having “good” body awareness.

If you’re interested in learning more, check out my FREE TRAINING or book a FREE Discovery Call with me (below)!